The Decision of the Year

It’s August 1, 2020. Do you know what that means? It means we are just 153 days from the turn of a new year. A chance to set new goals, to reset and to start a new year. 2020 will definitely be a year none of us will forget. Even though many want to forget it as soon as possible. Parts of this year will end up in our history books. Others will leave our hearts hurting for years to come. We’ve learned lots of lessons. Some good, some not so good.

August 1 also means it’s time for back to school. A time of year when parents and kids alike are excited to go back to school shopping. Kids are looking forward to decorating their lockers, wearing their new kicks and seeing their friends. They are comparing their class schedules and learning who is in each of their classes. Parents are excited to get back on a schedule and get the kids back into a more structured environment. This year, this all looks, feels and is different.

As I sit here and share my thoughts with all of you, I still don’t know what my kids’ back to school will look like for 2020-2021. Sure, we are still doing back to school shopping. Most of which has taken place online but nonetheless we have been shopping. We are carrying on as we would in any other year without any confirmation of how they will receive their education. Because we are doing our best to keep our home and our kids moving forward.

Like all the other states across the U.S., Minnesota has put careful thought into their strategy. They have built out multiple options with contingency plans, as they should. They are being responsible for formulating the proper plans and seeking input from the parents who ultimately are the consumers of their services.

What no one is doing, and is desperately needed, is making a definitive decision and taking responsibility for their decision. The decisions keep getting pushed off to others. And I get it. I have come to understand why no one wants to make this big, tough, important decision. No one wants to be responsible if things go poorly. What if an outbreak occurs and lots of kids and teachers get sick? What if kids don’t get the same education through distance learning as they would in the classroom? How do you deal with a teacher testing positive? The questions and scenarios are plenty.

I get it. My husband and I are considering our own decisions. What’s best for our girls? As we consider their safety, education, wellness and social skills, we are fearful of making the wrong decision. We don’t want to unintentionally put our kids or others in harms way. We don’t want to cause our 14 year old to miss out on her first day of high school. Or our 12 year old to miss out on seeing friends she hasn’t seen since the middle of March. But if I’m being totally honest, I am fearful of how others will respond to our decision. No matter what it is.

Typically, I don’t care what people think of me, my decisions, behaviors, etc. But being a mom is the most important role I play and I don’t want to be judged by others. Nor does any other parent. No one wants or deserves to face the scrutiny that already has been demonstrated, when they make their final decision.

For the teacher who has a loved one with a compromised immune system or underlying issue, going back to the classroom is very scary. For the child who is living in an abusive home, not going back to the classroom is very scary. For the family who struggled to balance work and distance learning in the spring and doesn’t have viable childcare for the fall, either decision feels very scary.

We all have our own scenario and needs. We are all making difficult decisions, none of which we are 100% sure about. And the last thing we need is anyone giving us flack for the very personal decisions we are making.

My ask of you is simple. Be kind and supportive. Whether you agree or disagree with someone’s decision, be kind. Remember, it’s their decision. Not yours. Your opinion is not relevant, unless asked for, nor was it likely considered when they made their choice. Support them. Acknowledge how hard it was to arrive at their decision. Don’t pretend to know their situation. Be kind and supportive. And keep your unkind and unsupportive comments to yourself. As a dear friend of mine likes to say, don’t be an #Asshat.

Let’s set a great example for the young humans we are raising. Let’s demonstrate to them how compassionate, supportive and kind we are so they have strong role models. Let’s raise each other up, support one another and make going back to school, no matter how it looks, a great experience for our children. After all, they are what really matters.

Until next time…….stay safe, stay healthy and stay confident.

Mama Llama a.k.a Lisa